Naruto Shiro!
by Mutant Headcrab
Summary: Team 7 is deployed on a top-secret mission! Danger and peril await our rookie heroes! Will they have the strength, fortitude, and sheer manliness to overcome this terrible challenge? And where in the blue blazes is Kakashi when you need him?


It was a beautiful spring day. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and the ninja-in-training were going about their first missions. One such team of youthful soon-to-be-assassins walked down a well worn trail which led away from their home village of Konoha.

"I hope we're not going to 'find' that cat again," whined Naruto, "This would be, what, the sixth time? Seventh?"

His two companions, Sakura and Sasuke, rolled their eyes. True, they were just as sick of these pointless missions, but that blonde-haired urchin's unending whining had a tendency to get old.

"If you'd actually stop goofing off for a change, we might just get a higher ranked mission," chided Sasuke.

Naruto squinted his eyes and glared at his self-perceived rival. His mind raced for an adequate comeback. It took a few agonizing moments, but he finally came up with a good zinger!

"Oh yeah, well if you weren't such a duck-butt headed-"

The great comeback was halted unexpectedly as Naruto walked right into something. He yelped and fell unceremoniously on his rear. Standing like an unmoving statue was a well-muscled man with dark hair and an equally dark expression. He was clad in a white gi and his stare, filled with cold intent, all but froze Naruto in place.

"Where the hell did he come from," yelled Sasuke as he took up a combative stance.

Sakura shook her head as she took a similar stance. "I don't know! He just...appeared!"

Recognition struck Sakura with all the force of a hurricane. She had heard rumors from other students. Tales whispered in locker rooms and between classes. All of them described a man very much like the one that stood before them. All spoke of a man with a name that seemed to invoke dread in those who spoke it.

"Segata Sanshiro!"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow and glanced towards Sakura. Before he could vocalize his confusion, the one known as Segata Sanshiro rushed forward and punted Naruto. The young shinobi was sent flying and plowed straight through a tree. Before the sound of the cracking wood could even reach the others, the assailant lunged again and delivered a mighty blow which knocked Sakura out like a light.

With a speed that most mortal men would be incapable of seeing, Sasuke flashed through a several hand motions. He inhaled deeply and exhaled a roaring gout of flame! The burning fire engulfed this 'Segata Sanshiro' completely. When all the flame was expelled, Sasuke gave a smug little smirk. With that taken care of, all he had to do was make sure Sakura and Naruto were alright.

He turned his back and thus his confidence was his undoing. With no warning, something grabbed and took hold of Sasuke! Struggling to escape, he glanced back and found the angry eyes of Segata Sanshiro staring back. The only sign of the chakra-fueled fires doing anything were singes along his gi and a few singed hairs.

With a great and mighty yell, Segata Sanshiro hurled the ninja in his clutches. He arced most impressively in the air and was thrown nearly a hundred meters away. As soon as he made contact with the ground, Sasuke suddenly exploded, sending a massive fireball into the air.

Naruto, in a great deal of pain at this point, struggled to look up. He saw the white garbed man approach and stand before him. Through gritted teeth, Naruto asked, "What did you want with us?"

A game console was suddenly thrust into Naruto's face. Segata Sanshiro's brow furrowed as he replied:

"Sega Saturn shiro!"

----------------------------------------

Some time later, the three ninja were delivered to a hospital. They all managed to survive their harrowing encounter. Sasuke, despite having seemingly exploded, was in one piece. He was a little more extra-crispy than before, however. Naruto was found with a video game console on his person. A Sega Saturn to be precise.

The console was currently in the hands of a figure who watched the three ninja-in-training as they lay unconscious. He stepped cautiously into the light looking over the item he held.

Kakashi closed his uncovered eye and shook his head. "I didn't think that you three would get worked over this badly," he said with a hint of regret. The regret seemed to dissapear as he continued, "However, this was the only way to get a Saturn without spending a fortune!"

Were his students awake, they would have noticed that their sensei's eye had a hint of glee as it opened back up. From a pouch at his side, Kakashi pulled out a CD case and looked it over. Beneath his mask he was grinning like a maniac as his eye darted back and forth between the CD case and the game console.

"Now I'll be able to play the Make-Out Paradise dating game!" 


End file.
